Norway to enter the EU!

Gardermoen/Brussel(EuroNews): In a surprising move the former Euro-sceptic Dublin Correspondent and secretary for International Relations and General Constitutionalism today announced his intentions to bring Norway to the very heart of Europe. Short before 6 o’clock Friday he was entering a plane from Oslo to Brussels to put is signature on the accession document and to embrace the Lisbon Treaty.

Merely a week after the former Correspondent took part in the Student Guild against the Common Marked’s Christmas convention the IRGC Secretary have dissociate himself from the Guild. Despite refusing to public make a comment on his new policies, sources closely linked to him have informed that secret negotiations between him and an EU delegation have taken place since his time in Dublin and that he from now on wants to be referred to as “Commissioner”. The changed attitude has been welcomed by the Labour Party and the Conservatives, as their leadership joined together for celebration at Høyres Hus in Oslo.

Little is known about the form of the present treaty between Norway and Brussels, but an observer at Oslo Airport Gardermoen reports that the new Commissioner left for Belgium with an euphoric smile not seen since the chairman of the Nobel Peace Prize Committe, Torbjørn Jagland, met US President Barrack Obama and chaired his first meeting as General Secretary of the Council of Europe during the same week. This leaves us only speculating on the result of the final negotiations. Among the delegation, named “6^th Division”, where members from the Revolutionary Faculty and the Faculty of Social Life and Common Entertainment; which could mean that the next four days should point towards an all-European consolidation celebration.

The closest political associated with the Commissioner, the former Middland Correspondent, have in a simultaneous move set for a conference in Vienna which fuel the suspicions that the Royal Norwegian Correspondence Association have made a pro-European coup d’état. From reliable sources have we been told that the Commissioner’s plans have been aired during a convention at Holmlia in Oslo soon before the departure; which may point out the former Leeds Correspondent in addition to the former Midland Correspondent as the brains behind the master plan. Evidence also points towards the new Correspondent to Odessa as one of the motivators.

In a short comment after arriving Brussels the Commissioner says he looks forward to be tied up in the negotiations and “have hard to think of this meeting not to result in a centre-periphery styled consolidation”.